Pure as Snow: A desire for his Emotions
by Jun Hiroshi
Summary: I completely lost it. My hands reached out and violently thrusted his small frail shoulders back and forth, nearly knocking his ligaments out of place. 'SPEAK DAMNIT' ... 'WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU SPEAK' " MxN-Pure as Snow Remake-Mello's POV-Later yaoi
1. A desire for his Emotions

**Title**: A Desire for his Emotions  
A Death Note Doujinshi Oneshot  
**Pairing**: Mello x Near, MxM  
_**Disclaimer:**_ _In no way will I ever be able to own Death Note or Death Note's content. If I did, it would be baked in the oven with yaoi goodness.  
__**Warning:**__ This fanfic is rated _M _for mature audiences.  
Yaoi __is coming ahead, meaning _guys with guys_. If you do not want to read about  
__male x male relationships, _read no further! I cannot stress this fact enough.

I shall have you know, once again, that this is in fact, _yaoi._

Now here's some yaoi for those who have read the above and are still here!  
^o^

- + -

"**Pure as Snow: A Desire for his Emotions"**

Wammy's House; Midnight  
Mello's POV

'_Just seeing Near all high and mighty with his emotionless I'm-way-more-intelligent-than-you attitude sent my temper over the line. I couldn't help but notice how he always secluded himself away from the rest of the children, like he thinks he's way too good to play with the rest of us just because he's number one! I don't see how that fucking L-wannabe could be on top of the school, he never even studies!_

'_So two nights ago I decided to put that little bastard in his place, he needed to know who was the real boss and deserves every single punishment he gets. The whole time I kicked and punched at his hunched form he didn't make a sound, which just ticked me off more than anyone could ever imagine. But because I lost control over myself so easily, I couldn't help but yell out my frustrations, all my complaints, and wanting him to die. At that moment he didn't seem deserving of the life he has._

'_When I was finished with the weak albino, I walked out and met face-to-face with my best friend, Matt. Apparently he had heard screaming from Near's room, but the door was locked, so he couldn't get in. Just like always, Matt yelled and scolded at me for my actions against Near. Then he started watching my every move, making sure I wouldn't do it again. What a pain he can be! I felt like a suspect for murder the whole damn time, and if I wasn't caught after I walked out, I might've just been.'_

- + -

Everytime I see him it's like a fire ignites in my head that causes my eyebrows to furrow in the center and my teeth to clench, but today I wouldn't dare go near him. I prayed to god last night for blankets upon blankets of snow to cover the ground to where if you walked outside a few feet from Wammy's entrance you'd feel like you just stepped off into a blank white nothingness. To my great surprise, it snowed! Sadly it wasn't as much as I had hoped for, but it was still quite a lot so I was most pleased.

In my excitement I jumped up from my bed without even bothering to tug on a pair of pants or a shirt and woke up my closest friend, Matt, who apparently isn't quite the morning person. Matt has always been there for me when things were tough and he was my only real friend that I have ever had. Since my parents died when I was young, as were they, I never did get any siblings or close friends because I never talked to anyone after I was dropped off here. No one wanted to test out the new kid, and I took it as a good thing though because back then I thought, _'would they really accept my defects?'_

"Matt!" I yelled with such delight that no one but Matt would ever see or hear coming from me. "Last night I prayed for a little snow," a huge smile swept across my face with emphasis on the 'little.' "and there's a whole lot of it outside our window!" I couldn't hold in my excitement at all as I tackled Matt on his bed just as he was about to get up. "We need to go out, Matt! Please com with me! Oh, please, please, Please~ !"

He sighed and sat up a little bit but my weight wouldn't let him get up all the way completely. After a few tries and fails at releasing himself from underneath me -although it was obvious he could have easily thrown me off- he smiled and gave up with another sigh from his lips. "If I do go outside in the snow with you, what will you do for me?" asked Matt slyly as ever. It was one of his good points about his personality.

"Well..." I began with a smile, this was one of my favorite games of his and mine that we play. "What do you desire the most?" I asked with a smirk on my face and half-lidded eyes.

This particular game always started with a plea from one of us and the other would ask how far would the other go in means of pleasing to get what he wanted from the said person. Of course, this game is just as naughty as it sounds in all the means of sexual desire and pleasure. Mostly it would turn into sex, or a blow, whatever the one who was asked of something wanted at the time. Although we played this game with much enthusiasm I wasn't sure if I liked the game itself, or the person involved and the actions that were done with each other. In other words, I wasn't really sure myself what my sexual orientation was.

Matt pretended to look up with a complex thought in his head. "I'm not quite sure, Mello. It is pretty early, so what is Mello willing to do?" His face was all smiles of enjoyment at our way of talking this over like he had it all planned out although it always led to my decision because he always saw me as his superior, someone to follow, a leader. It was dead obvious, he had a way of not hiding anything.

I copied his moves and smiled as I knelt on top of him so my lips went down to meet with his in a rough kind of fashion. His lips always tasted of either chewing gum or cigarettes from his bad habit and how he tries to deal with it when the teacher's and Wammy staff are watching. With a meeting of our tongues I explored his mouth as he followed what I did, and both of us gained more excitement in a contrasting way to my feelings towards the snow: lustful kisses and innocent joy. "How about I give you the night of your life?" I whispered sweetly in his ear.

He stayed silent and a blush crept across his face even though he was probably already used to my ways of seduction. I decided to use this moment of interest to my better use.

"But first the snow!" I exclaimed excitedly as I jumped up from his bed and out the door. Before turning away I faced Matt again. "Don't make me wait."

With a smile that would have been perfect for loyal dog or servant he replied, "Never."

Satisfied, I grinned and ran out to the direction of my room to grab a warm fluffy black coat and my regular wears then the public bathroom for the showers. This was probably the best day I've had all month! Near always seemed to bring down my mood greatly and it disturbed me just how perfect he looked out on his surface. It always tickled my curiosity about what would really make this seemingly perfect child tick. Maybe I'd find out someday, maybe not, but there was no harm for me in trying.

After getting all washed up for the day and dressed with dry clothes I snuck my way out to the front entrance of Wammy's to meet up with Matt since it wasn't allowed that any orphans went outside unless it was for recess which was the greatest time of the day in my opinion.

Looking in all directions to make sure Linda, any of the orphans, staff, or Roger was anywhere near I slowly opened the front door and stepped out into the cold winter weather. Next I had to either wait or look for Matt which would probably be pretty easy seeing as everything is snow white and Matt has bright red hair. The snow crumbled underneath my feet as I walked across the snow and spotted my red-headed best friend. "Matt!" I called out with a wave.

In response he waved back with a smile and ran over to where I walked closer and closer to him. "Mello!" He exclaimed happily. "We should go clear off that bench next to the tree over there! I bet we could reach up to the trees and climb up a little easier so we could see the rest of the snow." My red-headed friend was way more excited than he had appeared earlier in his room. "That is, if you'd like." he added with a little embarrassment at his childlike behavior.

With a grin I replied back, "Then let's go!" Then I took his hand and ran over with him shortly lagging behind through the snow. His shoots were not the best for this type of weather and neither were mine, but they were better. At least our shoes didn't soak up the wetness of the snow. If it did, we would have been caught later on for sure!

The bench Matt had indicated had been there since the founding of this orphanage by Mr. Watari himself and most likely it would stay that way according to how steadily it still stood throughout all the harassment of weather and kids it's been put through. What a poor bench and somehow it felt like I was related to such an inanimate object in a way.

We began our work slowly, thinking it was going to be easy to get to the wood but the snow was caked and ice hid beneath it as we pushed off more and more of the fluffy substance. Even though it wasn't quite fun, we always changed things around to suit to our better taste and advantage, so with a snowball in-hand I flung it out as fast as I could at Matt.

"Bah!" shouted out the startled Matt. "Jesus christ!" he cried out with laugh as he scooped up his own snowball and shot it back, which I blocked. Matt's bad smoking habit got in the way of physical education classes so he wasn't quite athletic and his gaming didn't help to add to his physical capabilities although he always passed the exams when they came.

Our laughter echoed across the landscape and our noses went red with cold but we didn't care at all. It was like nothing could get in our way, nothing bad could happen at this moment, but I spoke too soon. A soft noise sounded behind me and Matt looked up with a little bit of shock on his face. Instantly I freaked out, afraid we had been caught although it wouldn't be the first.

I turned around as quickly as I had thrown the snowballs earlier at Matt to face who had made the noise, my worst enemy, Near. _'He would definitely tell! I don't need this to ruin my day! If he ruins mine, I'll wreck his, no matter what Matt says.'_

"What the fuck are you looking at?" I snarled at the small boy, I couldn't help letting out this tone. It was just who I was and he pissed me off to no other extreme that I could think of.

"Mello..." whined Matt behind me. Of course he would, Matt didn't like my quick temper, nor did he enjoy my harsh words that I used daily to everyone I disliked, but Near especially.

I couldn't help but snap back with, "Shut up." I'd probably regret that later, but right now he wasn't who I wanted to hear, and I was in no mood for his whining because of my so called 'ill behavior.' "So what the hell do you think you're doing, huh?"

But he didn't and my anger grew every second he kept up his stupid silence. I completely lost it.

My hands reached out and violently thrusted his small frail shoulders back and forth, nearly knocking his ligaments out of place. "SPEAK DAMNIT!!" I yelled with spit shooting from my mouth and anger far beyond normality. "WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU SPEAK?!"

Just then, Matt grabbed onto me, scolding me, yelling out at me, but it took a while to register his words. "Mello. stop!" his hands got in between both Near and I. "Knock it off! Now!" I could feel his arms trying to pull me away but his gamer hands did no good, I had a far stronger grip and all I could see was red and that little albino.

Then my eyes went wide, but it wasn't what I felt before. My fury had ended and it was now replaced with confusion and astonishment; he was smiling. Near showed emotion, and he was smiling at the harassment he was given! _'Does Near _like _pain? Is he a... masochist?'_ He smiled for a while longer and seemed to be lost into a different world until he realized himself that he was grinning and immediately went back to his blank stare though I guessed it was simply to hide what he was truly feeling. _'So does Near really have emotion? What's his motive to conceal whatever his emotion is? Does he not like having emotions? Does he not want people to see his as he is? Ugh... too many hypothesizes and not enough time.'_

With a sigh I slumped my shoulders and gave up any hope of trying to figure this out for the moment. "Whatever you're trying to hide inside yourself," I began with a try at a mature tone and spoke from experience. "will eventually burst out if you keep it locked-up for so long." I thought that just telling Near that he didn't have to be fake would be enough for now to get him to move on and set off back to Wammy's house.

Matt must have been a little stunned from my words because he stayed where he stood for a while before calling out "Wait up!" and running in my direction to catch back up to me.

Like I said before he was my best friend and he knew me better than anyone else, including my past, so he knew what I said just now was right. Someday, Near would explode, and a part of me wished that when that day came, he would come to me. Then a loud sound that echoed outside but was probably silenced from the inside reached my ears. It wasn't recognizable as any word I knew until I heard it the second time, my name.

As instantly as I had heard my name the second time I whipped around in the direction I had left the small boy. "Near!" I called out with fear that he might have gotten himself hurt, was ready to open up, or was in some kind of danger. "Matt! Go back to Wammy's and get help!" As I spoke quickly I still faced Near's direction and ran off. "Hurry!" I yelled at Matt.

"I'll be right back!" called back Matt as he ran in Wammy's front door's direction.

Any trouble we get in would be far less worse than what could happen to Near. If I remember correctly, he wasn't quite dressed for such weather and was still dressed in pajamas. "Near!" I called out, hoping for an answer, but there was no response. "Near!" I tried again, but still nothing of his voice was heard. Then when I finally made it to where I was before I saw a crumpled figure on the ground that had been quickly covered in heavy buckets of snow. "Near!" I cried with tears in my eyes. "Near!"

I fell to the ground instantly into the snow from my own stupid mistake of being to rushed. Even though I had crashed right through the soft padding into hard ice I struggled back up and tried with all my might to pick up Near. Surprisingly he was lighter than I thought and I wondered if he ate right and fed himself correctly, or if he was just really small, it was hard to figure it out since his pajamas were so huge on him.

Without further adieu, I held Near behind my back and wrapped his arms around my neck with his legs strapped to my hands in a death grip. My first try to stand was difficult, and I almost fell back down, but eventually I was walking through the snow to Wammy's door which was incredibly far with a person on my back. His bodice was as slim as a girl's and I blushed a little when I realized his lower regions rubbed against my back. I also didn't think of this when I tried picking him up because I was overly worried, but he was surprisingly cute in his sleeping state and the rubbing of his groin was turning me on. I did my best to hold it in with hopes of Matt later on tonight like we had planned.

It took a while, but I reached the door which was opened for me by Matt that had gotten the nurse.

When she saw Near she gasped and asked, "Is he all right?" Her expression was kind of funny in a way because she had a mole beneath her nose that reminded me greatly of a movie I had seen that dealt with a strange guy that went around time to stop this other bald guy that had a mini him and a son he didn't care for at all.

"I don't know." I replied, and I really didn't. "I heard him call my name earlier, you see, and I was worried something happened to him so I ran back for him and saw him laying in the snow. I carried him on my back the entire way and he needs to see the infirmary now!" The last sentence I had snapped at her, but I didn't really mean to.

The next thing I knew, Near was in bed next to me in one of the infirmary rooms' beds, sleeping away. His face was so serene and much more colored since he had warmed up some from the layers of blankets that covered him from head to toe. As I listened to his soft breathing and his inhales and exhales repetitively, I couldn't help but fall into a trance just by looking at him and shortly joined him in the realm of dreams.

- + -

To Be Continued...


	2. Sleeping Beauty

**Title**: A Desire for his Emotions  
A Death Note Doujinshi Oneshot  
**Part: **2: "Sleeping Beauty"  
**Pairing**: Mello x Near, MxM  
_**Disclaimer:**_ _In no way will I ever be able to own Death Note or Death Note's content. If I did, it would be baked in the oven with yaoi goodness.  
__**Warning:**__ This fanfic is rated _M _for mature audiences.  
Yaoi __is coming ahead, meaning _guys with guys_. If you do not want to read about  
__male x male relationships, _read no further!I cannot stress this fact enough.

I shall have you know, once again, that this is in fact, _yaoi._

Now here's my first yaoi oneshot for those who have read the above and are still here!  
^o^

- + -

"**Sleeping Beauty"**

Wammy's House; 6:53 PM  
Mello's POV

When I awoke I didn't open my eyes immediately just as I would any other day, it was too soft and warm here to give it up. Also, if I had opened my eyes and Near's blank face appeared again everything would disappear into this hell hole called reality.

So instead I wiggled to get comfortable again and tried to fall back asleep but then a softer, warmer, touch sent my eyes flying open wide with surprise rather than comfort. This touch wasn't the nice trance of sleep that I wished for, just that god damn Near.

"Mello?" the small Near asked as if he didn't do anything strange at all while curling his hair and using his voice to speak in such a monotone I could've smacked him right then and there, but then another idea came to mind, _'This is my chance!"_ I thought with excitement far beyond the joy of snow.

A smile crept across my lips in utter contentment with these new thoughts, ideas, designs, passing through my head like wildfire caught within a dry forest. All these thoughts were somehow similar to how Matt always 'played' with me in our little game although Near was much more of a sweet saint than I was as a virgin, like the sleeping beauty in story books, the foolish, innocent, beautiful- ah, fuck it.

"Sleeping beauty spoke," I teased with a sick humor that didn't even seem to phase him, "and with a twist!" I chuckled, but still no reaction out of Near, so I continued, pressing for some kind of emotion in this adolescent, albino freak. "Turns out this one likes to assault others when they're sleeping." I let out a nervous laugh and tried to sit up to go, but was forced right back down, by Near!

His weightless frame rolled over right on top of me, his genitals laying right on top of mine! His soft, pale lips came down slowly until they met with mine again gently, but I couldn't take it. My emotions were never under control and I couldn't seem to stop my hands from gripping at his hips, pulling him down so our bodies didn't have even the smallest gap in between. I blame my teenage hormones.

He was as light and smooth as a feather, just like a fair petite young girl about our age, maybe younger than us, and strangely enough, this felt so right! Then Matt came to mind, his laugh, his smile, his expressions, his kiss... then lastly, his voice.

_"If I do go outside in the snow with you, what will you do for me?"_

Guilt sunk in with his voice running in my head, repeating over and over. Matt would definitely wait all night for me, but I couldn't stop these feeling I felt. His face kept entering my head and I tried blocking it out by using the Near who was right on top of me.

I softly licked the bottom of his lips to allow my tongue to slide into his mouth. Our tongues touched and flourished in a way that sent a blush across my cheeks and thoughts of Matt right out the window. I didn't even really recognize that this was Near because of though until I heard a scared mew. _'Near can actually feel fear?'_

Usually I fed on his pain and suffering but I couldn't take hearing his helpless whines. I grabbed his hand and held it in mine for a second, fascinated by its smallness, then moved his hand into my hair. Like I see him do everyday, I moved his fingers with my own into a twirling motion thinking it would help for him to relax.

He seemed to be doing a little better after a while, but then his body heat increased against my own hot body. I could hear his warm pants that escaped between our lips. Then he pulled back and I allowed his freedom with a little understanding of what he was feeling, I felt the same before with Matt.

Just like I had been once upon a time, Near was confused. "M-Mello…" His voice nearly made me lose all control, I could've either cried or killed right at then and there, but instead I gripped tight to what was left of my sanity.

Near took my hand and placed it over his rapidly thumping heart to try and show what was happening to him. "I don- I don't understand." said Near with the most scared look on his face I had ever seen, but it wasn't as bad as his whines he released before.

I could've teased him, messed with his head, and destroyed him, but I knew what it was like to be scared of the unknown. Who but the _old_ Near wasn't scared at times? So instead of breaking him into tiny little shards of humanity's cruelty, I smiled just as I would only with Matt. Then I took his hand and placed it over my own heart beat to show he wasn't the only one.

His expression didn't seem to understand so I confirmed what he might have perceived already. "I do." Then I rolled him over as carefully and gentle as I could so now I laid over his small, breakable form of an adolescent. I unbuttoned his oversized shirt with care with kisses on his lips.

The first button was closest to his neck and not surprisngly the hardest to undo, the second was easier, and so was the one after that. By the time I reached the last button I pulled back to see his lovely face. His expression was so cute that I kissed his lips, jaw, neck, and chest without even thinking and continued to move down all the way to his stomach.

"Nnn…" moaned the innocent boy I placed kisses on with my own vulgarity that he probably never knew about until this night. "M- Mello?" His voice was like fire to my ears, burning them but ever so sweet.

I traced my tongue around his naval and playfully made a suggestive in and out motion with my tongue when it entered his belly button.

Instantly he arched his back, bumping my chin, and cried out with an "Ahh...!" _'And I wasn't even getting to the good part yet!'_ I thought to myself as I held on to his hips to keep them down along with his back. As I continued to tease his aroused body he reached out to my hand and placed it down his pants to his penis.

I didn't even bother to hide my shock, that wasn't my style anyway. "N- Near?" I asked as I looked up to him with a little concern since I wasn't sure if he was ready yet. "Are you sure?" I asked to confirm whether or not to take this little experiment further.

He released my hand from his grip and nodded slowly before he replied with a plea. "P- Please, M- Mello?"

I couldn't suppress my hormones raging in my chest and quickly tore down his pants to his ankles then off onto the floor next to the bed. His erection was thick and more beautiful than I had thought it would be. It wiggled a little at my touch when I stroked it slowly up and down. Even my own hand motion on his member caused my own erection to grow a little more.

Unexpectedly, Near reached down my pants and started to run his hand along my penis which made me stiffen a little more again. My own member flinched at his touch and decided to give him something he would really enjoy.

I brought my lips down to Near's shaking erection and kissed the top gently where pre-cum came out little by little which made him gasp a little before I licked down his member to his sack. Then I moved back up to the tip and opened my mouth to engulf his whole erection. I made an up and down motion as I had done before but instead with my mouth this time. Near seemed to learn from my movements because then he too, was pumping my member with his hand.

Both Near and I began to pant harder and harder as we sped up the pace with our movements.

Before I let out my own burst of little Mello's, Near let out his with several shaky moans that escaped his mouth, in contrary to his sperm that shot into my mouth that I then swallowed. Then I fell to his side on the bed and went under the covers to cuddle with my new little one night stand.

His viriginity was now mine and no one else would be able to take it away. Although I had thought in the beginning if I had stolen his viriginity he would no longer be pure, I was wrong. His sleeping face was just like the sleeping beauty in story books, the foolish, innocent, beautiful... a person purer than any snow fall; someone that I had always dreamed of.

Now he was all mine, but sadly, I couldn't stay, Matt was waiting.

So once the little sleeping beauty fell softly asleep in my arms I slid away, minding his arms. It would be too much trouble to lull him back to sleep if he was to awake suddenly. I walked a little away from the bed to get my pants and tug them on. Then I took Near's smooth pajama bottoms and dressed him, trying not to wake him up as I did so, which was extremely difficult.

Before I left the room I kissed his cheek gently and quietly whispered, "Sweet dreams." Then I went over to the door and slowly closed it behind me. I passed by the nurse with a nod and went out into the dark hallway to see my Matt in-waiting.

Never had I really thought about how dark it was in the hallways at night, well, there is light, just not enough from the little night-lights down at the bottom of the walls. _'Maybe I should try to get Roger to place actual lights in the halls, but Wammy's probably doesn't have them because it would be to expensive to have a few in every hallway. Oh, well... '_

I noticed a few other orphans rushing to get to their rooms as I walked by more and more doors throughout the hall. Then finally I ended my journey at Matt and I's bedroom door.

I knocked first to make sure he was in there. "Matt?" I asked to the door. "Are you in there?"

There was a long silence before I almost left. "No..." muttered a sad boy's voice from inside. "There's no Matt in Mello's busy life." his sulking tone made me feel even more guilty than I was.

"Sorry..." I whispered as I placed my hand on the wood of the door. After what seemed like ages I sighed and asked a final question. "Can I come in?" I asked.

There was no response in the first few seconds I waited. "It's your room too." answer he.

So I placed my hand that was on the door to its knob and turned as I pushed it open then closed it softly behind me but I didn't walk in all the way into our room.

Above on the top bunk was a frowning Matt with his Gameboy in hand. He was still in his day clothes but his hair was wet which suggested that he had already taken a shower.

"Matt?"

He didn't look down to where I stood. "What?" he irritatingly asked. Usually I would have hit him for such a tone, but I deserved it this time.

"Can I come up?" I put my hands in my pocket and looked down at the floor in shame. "I can still make it up to you." I added in.

Then he looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. "Really..." he didn't show any sign of being pissed, so I guessed I had what he wanted and looked up back at him. "And how are you going to do that?" he asked with a smile before turning back to his Gameboy.

I smiled wickedly and made my way up to his bunk. "Anyway you want me to." I replied.

He didn't look at me at all as I crawled over the ladder attached to the bunk and snuggled on top of his body. I kissed his neck softly and ran my finger down his cheek bone.

He seemed to smile a little more, but then a frown caught on his expression followed by wide eyes. "Y- You didn't!" he exclaimed. "W- WHY!?" He pushed me off and huddled away from me.

"Matt, what are you-"

"YOUR HAIR!" He screamed.

I froze and my eyes widened to match his. 'Was there really something about my hair he noticed that hinted at Near's touch?' I wondered and took a look in the mirror on the wall to the side of the bunk bed where our dresser and closet was. Hidden between my regular blond, straight hair that curved inwards at the tips was a small strand that was just as curly as Near's, which was actually probably caused by him, but how would Matt come to that conclusion?

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH NEAR?!" Matt yelled at me accusingly, not even thinking rationally or letting me explain 'what happened.'

I sighed and regained my cool then looked back into his shocked eyes. "Just because I have one curl doesn't mean anything." Then I shook my head and tried scooting a little closer, but he only went further away. "How the hell did you come up with that shit?" I accused with narrowed eyes.

He glared right back at me, not dropping what he believed was to be true -and was! "You know exactly, Mello. Don't act stupid."

"I'm not stupid, stupid. You're the one who thinks I was with Near! Near, of all people! I would never in a million years be with that fucking asshole." I cursed, still keeping up my lie.

Matt stared back again with searching eyes, probably to try and find a break in my facade, but the gave up with a sigh and sat back with his eyes closed. "Fine, I believe you." he muttered then looked back at me. "But I don't want you touching me right now, okay?"

I nodded and climbed down the ladder with a smirk that he couldn't see from where he sat. "Good night, Matt."

"Yeah... 'night, Mello."

Then I walked over to my bunk and heard him as he turned down the volume on his game and went underneath his covers. I had escaped from being caught for now, but I thought better than to rush back to Near since Matt still suspects me. _'So after some time goes by I'll go meet up with Near again for another session...' _I promised myself as I crawled into bed.

After hours passed by, I heard Matt click his keys on the game and then turn it off, so I closed my eyes just in case he might come down, which he did. Matt went down the ladder from his bunk to turn off the light. Then he stopped for a while before walking back in the ladder's direction, or at least I thought he was going to go back to the ladder, but his presence felt closer to my bunk than the ladder.

"Mello..." I heard him whisper. "I- I love you..." his voice was serene, and I did my best not to startle at his words so I didn't break my cover. "I just can't get up the courage to tell you, but someday, someday, Mello, I'll confess to you so you can hear." I heard him gulp then felt his lips down on my lips. He didn't force anything or say another word and walked back to the ladder and climbed into his bunk.

I laid in my blankets quietly, not even daring to move the most smallest inch, until I heard his soft snores from above. I breathed a sigh of relief and opened my eyes to the darkness so I could think better.

_'Matt's in the love with me?'_ I questioned inside my thoughts. _'Since when?! Did Matt think that all those intimate actions were real? I thought he knew it was just to relieve sexual frustration... not love! Hell no! Mihael Keehl does _NOT _fall in love with anyone!'_ I shut my eyes tight and shook my head in annoyance.

"Ugh..!" I groaned out to the dark room. "No...." I moaned aloud to no one but myself. "Why did it have to be Matt who fell for me?"

- + -

To be Continued...

A/N: GOD DAMN! xb Do you realize how long and difficult it is to write a longish lemon?? It's awful! I usually don't put this much work into my writing so please critique me; it really helps! :D

Lately I haven't gotten any... but I still love the reviews! :D Thank you!

-Jun-


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